A man buys a robot that has a built-in lie detector. If it detects a lie, it slaps the one who lies. He decides to try it out at dinner one night. He asks his son, "Where where you today son?"
The boy replies, "I was at school, Dad. You know I have classes on Tuesday." The robot reached over and slapped the kid and calls him a liar. The boy, humbled, says, "Ok, the truth is, I ditched class and went to the movies."
"What did you see?" dad wants to know. "And don't lie, Son, or the robot will slap you again."
"I went downtown and saw an adult picture. I'm not proud, but it's the truth." The robot sat motionless.
The dad shook his head disapprovingly. "Son, when I was your age, I would never have dreamed of going to see such a movie." Without hesitating, the robot slapped the dad.
The wife, chuckled to see this and said, "Don't be too hard on him dear. He's YOUR son, after all." And the robot slapped her.
Another joke...
Three men die in a car crash. An environmentalist, a democrat, and a republican. They immediately find themselves standing before the throne of God in heaven. He asks the environmentalist, "What do you believe in my son?" The environmentalist replies, "I believe in saving the planet, reducing pollution, cutting the carbon emissions....in short, I believe in doing anything I can to protect your world." God replies, "That's good. You may sit on my left."
Then he asks the republican, "What do you believe in my child?" The republican answers, "I believe in limited government. I believe in letting the working man keep more of his hard earned dollars. I believe in freedom, in gun rights, in less government meddling...." The Lord cuts him off. "Very good. You may sit on my right.
Then the Almighty asks the democrat, "What do you believe in, my child?" The democrat replies, "Well, for starters, I believe you're sitting in my chair."
